Simon is at the hospital for the fourth time in six weeks. Doctors are running tests to see if this is an infection or the next ugly phase of this horrible disease. But sitting at this hospital facing death also holds many sweet memories. At least three, anyway. Our babies. Simon will deny it, but…

Simon is back in the hospital. I was out with the kids all day yesterday while his sister cared for him at the house.  She was texting me updates with his temperature, blood pressure, eating, and mobility.  All were declining throughout the day. We had the kids stay at my parents’ house and got Simon’s oncology…

I plan to ask Simon what his fears are in this journey, but my guess is that he has very few. He has always been more confident in his faith and in his fate than I have. I have big and small fears, but I know the fears are just thoughts, not reality. I’m going…

Our tenant moved out tonight. We have a back house that we built for family to stay in when they visit.  Our visitor schedule was non-existent for a few months so we offered it as a  summer rental. Because God is one step ahead of us, always, we found the sweetest gal to move in.…

It was shaping up to be a great week full of improvements.  After going to church on Sunday, Simon joined extended family for dinner out at Steak Corral on Monday.  He was the most energetic and spirited we’ve seen in the last five weeks. But then he was very weak the last two days.  He…

Being an optimist, I refuse to focus on the things Simon can’t do. Thinking about his limitations is limited thinking. So I focus on what he CAN do: He can talk with visitors He can fold laundry (children’s laundry is the bane of my existence) He can help the kids put on their shoes He…

Simon made it to church today.  The last time he went was on Father’s Day five weeks ago, and just one day before the cancer diagnosis.  His desire has been to attend church, but his body has taken such a toll that it seemed like a physical impossibility. So today was the day.  We purposely arrived…

We bought greeting cards for every milestone for each of our children from now until adulthood – Birthdays, Graduations, Weddings, Babies etc. Simon will be writing and signing during his free time. It was really tough organizing the cards and thinking ahead to each event, knowing he probably won’t be there unless a miracle happens.…

You know, Be Prepared. You’re going to think Simon and I are a little weird and morbid, but every year on our wedding anniversary we talk about death. Do we dwell on it? No. Do we talk about it for more than about 20 minutes? Nope. But knowing Simon has a heart condition and knowing…

We have been home for a week now and are adjusting to our new normal. Family and friends have been helping with errands and keeping the kids busy. The home nurse visits every few days. Simon has an abdominal catheter for fluid build up that I’ve been trained to drain as needed and the nurse…

One month ago today, it was Father’s Day. Simon worked out in our yard for three hours. He finally finished ripping out the massive bougainvillea that was terrorizing our back fence. I was working on a to-do list for the week. Here’s that list: Monday Drop off kids at school, all need lunches packed Pick…

We want to thank everyone who has supported us in our journey these past four weeks. So many have visited, helped with errands, played with the kids, contributed financially, and prayed fervently. You are blessing us so deeply and allowing us to focus on life, not the things that distract us from life. Today I…

My brother’s wedding was yesterday.  It was joyful. Truly.  I did all my ugly crying the night before and spent the day in the moment.  There was much laughter and no awkward questions to answer.  And as predicted, our middle daughter had to be peeled away from the dancing when it was time to leave.…

Our wedding was near perfect in our opinion. We had hundreds of friends and family attend our ceremony and reception in California on a breezy October afternoon in 2004. We had an additional reception in Texas a week later. We spent our wedding night in a hotel near LAX since we would be leaving for…

SIMON IS HOME!!!!! He spent a full week in the hospital.  Everyone was missing him here, especially Goomba.  I would turn around and get this look a thousand times a day. During Simon’s stay, he had four procedures, over eight liters of fluid drained, and six blood transfusions. We had meetings with specialists in Oncology,…

My younger brother is getting married this Saturday. He and his fiance have dated for four years and have wanted to get married since day one.  They are innocent, sweet, and both equally into cute, nerdy stuff like steampunk. This will be one of the last weddings on both sides of our families for a…

Simon is on day six at the hospital.  We know most of the doctors and nurses by name now.  We’re becoming experts with all the new medical terminology.  One of our friends noticed some of Simon’s breathing equipment was operating improperly and fixed it . We even had a romantic, custom made dinner for two delivered from…

Simon has a special bond with our youngest daughter.  I know he loves all three children unconditionally, but our baby girl is the most like him.  She has the same long, skinny body type. She has his bright blue eyes.  She has his medium brown hair.  And at two and a half, she is observant,…

Simon has been back in the hospital three full days now.  Long enough to start decorating. Thank you, Texas Flag Fairy. It feels like we’re at an impasse. They drained over two liters of fluid from his abdomen again and gave him another blood transfusion.  It seems so redundant to take blood and put it…

We have already figured out that we need to parent each of our children a little differently.  Visiting Simon in the hospital with our middle daughter today was very different than with our oldest son yesterday.  Our daughter was totally in to it.  Like ALL IN.  She was definitely concerned about her dad’s health but…

Simon’s local oncologist encouraged us to get second opinions because every facility offers their own clinical trials or experimental treatments.  We’re realistic that this cancer isn’t curable (by man – God can cure it if He wills) but have been told there are options to slow it down.   So I called City of Hope to…

Simon and I were inseparable once I moved to Texas.  There were a few moments where he would not-so-eloquently tell me to go away and give him space.  But he was usually just hungry or tired and got over it pretty quick.  We all get like that from time to time, amiright? We spent the…

This title probably sounds much more spiritual than this post is going to be.  We literally went to get his heart checked today.  He goes to a specialty  cardiology clinic at UCLA once a year for long term follow up on his congenital defect. It was only seven months since his last visit, but the…

It was September 2003.  I was on the plane headed back to California after a weekend in Texas that left my mind racing. I had spent an unforgettable day with a charming Southern gentleman unlike any California guy I had ever dated. (Note: There are definitely quality California guys out there. At the time, I…

Before we  continue the saga of how Simon and I met,  it would only be fair to tell you about his setback today.  We promised to be honest and keep everyone updated so here goes.  He spent the day in the ER trying to get his pain under control.  He woke up today and couldn’t…

It’s so important to remember when and why we fell in love with the person we love. This is going to be long because I like details and because Simon is sleeping right now and because nobody is forcing you to read this and because someday our kids will want to know this story and…

Many have asked how Simon is at this moment. He is in abdominal pain daily and has trouble being comfortable when he sits or lies down. He has a variety of pain meds and is figuring out what the right combination is. The best words to describe his attitude are reflective, peaceful, and, as always,…

It can be hard to find the good after having a week like ours. The last three times we went to the hospital, they gave us a cute baby to take home. This time, they gave us stage four cancer. Here are few tiny things that have happened the past year that now seem HUGE,…

Our kids.  Our sweet, precious children.  They are seven, five, and two years old.  A firstborn green eyed son then two curly haired, blue eyed girls. They know “Daddy doesn’t feel well” and we’re leaving it at that for now.  It’s what is recommended by psychologists (we have consulted more than one) and it’s what…

Here’s how this cancer business all went down. I’m gonna give you the long version because, well, I can. Simon was born with a heart condition. He had three surgeries before his first birthday and had blood transfusions. He contracted Hepatitis C through one of those transfusions – the 1970’s weren’t the best years for…