About Me

The last blog update I posted here was in August 2019. Presently, we are all doing well, still happily living in Texas with frequent visits to California. The kids are ages 10, 13, and 15. Jason and I are approaching seven years of marriage. So much has happened in the world since August 2019 that…

Five years ago, Simon died of cancer. He was my husband of nearly 10 years. He was the father to our children who were ages 2, 5, and 7 at the time. He was a deeply loved husband and father, son, grandson, brother, cousin, uncle, coworker, mentor, and friend. He was just 34 years old.…

This will be the final post for the Golden Lone Star blog. There may be other projects in the future, but it seems like the right time to end this part of the journey. Thank you for coming along. Today marks the second anniversary of Simon’s passing. Two years later, there are still moments when…

One of my biggest fans – my dad – complained that I haven’t posted in a while. Here’s what life has looked like the past few months. In March, Jason and I were able to join our son on a four day California history school trip. It was a heavy itinerary but all three of…

I have this hesitation with Jason being called a stepdad. Our therapist tells me (very kindly) to get over it – there is no shame in the term step parent. While I agree that it’s a functional, widely accepted term, it irks me because it infers that there is a biological parent and non-biological parent…

Our joyful middle child turns seven today. This morning, she opened her birthday card from Simon – sealed with love 18 months ago – and hand carried it to school. She is a leader, a creator, and a freethinker. She is a child that requires, as our therapist would say, advanced parenting skills, much like…

Our garage was Simon’s happy place. He had a desk out there when he needed a quiet space to sort out work documents. He had a variety of tools, many inherited from my late grandfather who was a contractor, and enjoyed using them to make, change, and fix all sorts of things. Simon had a…

Our youngest turned four last week. She is thriving. I have said it before: she is by far the most observant of our three kids. Her memory is amazing and she’ll recall the smallest details from events that happened months ago. She keeps mental tabs on the last location of her preferred toys and knows…

I assumed the second Christmas without Simon would be easier, with less grieving and hazier memories. We would have “more strength” or a “deeper hope” or some other anecdotal wisdom for coping with loss. It wasn’t easier. There were moments that were really hard and really sad and really REAL. The reminders of his permanent…

Since childhood, I have dreamed of traveling somewhere tropical and staying in a hut over clear water – the details beyond that were unimportant. For my first honeymoon in 2004, Simon happily agreed to Hawaii. We were on a tight budget but had a magical time nonetheless in our modest garden view hotel room. During…

There has been so much to hear and read about the recent attacks in Paris. This world has tragedies and it would be easy to let all the bad news and sadness overtake our outlook on just about anything. My favorite quote on these matters comes from good ‘ol Mr.Rogers. He said, “When I was…

Today would have been my and Simon’s 11th wedding anniversary. This has been a week of reflection and processing, often with my sweet new husband, Jason. His favorite part of my story with Simon AND my story with him is this concept: “An extraordinary amount of perfectly timed events had to happen for us to…

We traveled to Dallas last weekend for a second wedding reception with Jason’s family and closest friends. We rented out the warehouse portion of a brewery and catered burgers. Multiple guests, particularly males, said it was the best reception ever. We would agree. The company was fabulous and there is something to be said about…

Jason and I were married on September 5th. All the emotions were present that day. I spent the first morning hour doing what I did the first few months after Simon passed. I sat on my front porch steps with a hot cup of coffee watching the sun rise. I let the tears flow. I…

Simon would have been 36 today. His close friends will probably get together for a craft beer and tell stories to remember their buddy. We continued our family tradition of staying at a local theme park resort. Simon loved lounging by the pool and using the sauna during the day. At night, we would go…

Dear Simon, One year ago today you passed away. The night before you left us, something miraculous happened that we haven’t shared with very many people. Your dear friend, perhaps your best friend, stayed beside you after most of the family had retired for the evening. He read you the last chapter of The Last…

At this time one year ago, Simon was readmitted to the hospital for the fourth, and last, time in a six week period. The doctors finally sat us down and told us Simon had days left. Those brave medical professionals knew it was inevitable but were drawing figurative straws on who was going to break…

Yesterday was the Fourth of July. We spent the evening on a neighbor’s lawn underneath a busy sky of light and sound. In less than a month, it will mark one year since Simon’s passing. At this time last year, Simon was staying at the hospital undergoing a slew of tests. We were unsure of…

In our year of “firsts” without Simon, I figured Father’s Day would be the hardest for all of us. As the kids processed all that has happened, the older two were particularly concerned about Father’s Day. They had so many questions starting months ago. “How do we celebrate if we don’t have a dad? Will…

One year ago today, Simon was admitted to the hospital for stomach pain. Within 24 hours, we would learn it was stage four, incurable cancer. Some days it seems like it was a lifetime ago because of the progress we’ve made. Some days it stings and aches because it is still so fresh and it…

Our middle daughter graduated Kindergarten today. For her, the day began light, joyous, and carefree. Summer is here! No more homework! And the big perk of school being finished for a few months for our first girl? Sleeping in. She would roll out of bed at 9 or 10 AM every day if she could.…

For the last few years on a sunny May or June weekend, our family would join with hundreds of other people in our city for Serve Weekend. Over 30 local churches host projects to improve and better the city. There are free oil changes for single moms, collection sites to gather items for the homeless,…

A few days ago, Jason and I went out to dinner at a small cafe nestled below large trees in Los Angeles called Alcove. It was a serene space hidden within a non-stop city. We had spent a long, fun, rainy day at a local amusement park and were eating a last meal together before…

It was hard this morning. It was hard to fight bitterness as a single parent. I imagined all the young mothers with doting husbands making them breakfast as mine would do every year. I imagined the older mothers with completely intact families gathered around in joyous celebration. I felt jealousy. Then I thought of the…

I vaguely remembered Simon playing some sort of trading card game with his buddies when we were newlyweds. He needed to bond with the guys and I was happy to see him enjoy an activity that was so…wholesome. Some men go to bars or clubs in their downtime; Simon stayed up late with straight-laced college…

I’ve been quiet on the blogging front lately. This tired mind needed a rest from thinking and writing to focus on living in the moment. It was a much needed break that allowed me to gather inspiration for future posts. Here are our recent happenings. Spring Break was a fun week for all of us…

Easter came and went. We are almost through our first holidays without Simon. We have spent some memorable Easters together that are worth sharing. In 2006, we celebrated Easter in Milan, Italy. We had a nine hour layover en route to Bulgaria so we took advantage and grabbed a train from the Milan airport into…

Today marks eight months since Simon died. One year ago, we went on a big family vacation to celebrate my mom’s 60th birthday. We stayed at a gorgeous, secluded resort in San Diego called Paradise Point. My folks found a unit with four connected suites that shared a giant common space where we would gather…

I finally disconnected Simon’s phone. It was emotional but the money can be better used for our children’s future and, with the exception of one doctor’s office that didn’t know he was gone, no one has called or texted in months. Still, that phone was what kept us connected for the days and weeks he…

This letter was found a few days ago as my mom was cleaning out files. Simon had written it to my parents about six months after we married. We wanted to move to California to be closer to my family and start one of our own. They had also loaned us some money as a…