Pregnancies and Babies

July 28, 2014

Simon is at the hospital for the fourth time in six weeks. Doctors are running tests to see if this is an infection or the next ugly phase of this horrible disease. But sitting at this hospital facing death also holds many sweet memories. At least three, anyway. Our babies.

Simon will deny it, but I am convinced he loved me just a bit more during my three pregnancies even though I was a raving lunatic at times. Maybe it was the cankles, maybe it was the life growing inside, and maybe it was my lack of brain cells, causing him to save the day more than once after my poor judgement. He would also never admit his disappointment, but I know he had secretly hoped I would go into dramatic labor and he would need to rush me to the hospital. During each pregnancy, he mapped out alternate routes to the maternity ward and talked about back up plans in the event of unforeseen roadwork or nuclear meltdown. Poor guy, we ended up with one induced labor and two planned c-sections.

When I was five months pregnant with our first, we traveled to Bulgaria for a missions trip. He made sure I walked every hour on the plane to prevent DVT. In a little apartment in the capital of Sofia, I got my first (of many) stretch marks and we felt our son kick for the first time. During one cab ride , the driver lit a cigarette in the stuffy car. Simon implored, “Baby! Bebe! Baaay Beeee!” and pointed to my belly. The driver was mad to waste a freshly lit cancer-stick, but he obliged, seeing the anger and desperation in Simon’s eyes.

There was another time later on in the pregnancy where I had a hankering for hot chocolate. I poured cold water in my favorite insulated travel mug, added the powder, and pressed the two-minute button on the microwave. The cup began sparking and making horrible crackling sounds. I literally just watched it through the microwave door, eagerly anticipating sweet, chocolatey goodness. Simon came running over just in time before a fiery explosion. He knew fair well after that moment that all bets are off with “pregnancy brain”. He could no longer leave the crazy lady to make even simple decisions until after birth. On a side note, I gained at least 50 lbs during the first go around and Simon never complained once. He was really sweet and would sympathy-eat with me for most cravings.

Our son was two weeks late so I was induced. In our birth plan, which mostly didn’t pan out, I wanted Simon to be right by my head, softly encouraging me. But on that night, they were short a nurse. Simon had to hold one of my legs back for a front row seat. He got in on every action-packed detail of a natural, drug-free birth of a 10 lb, 2 oz. baby boy with a large head. Hard to believe we ever had more kids!


The second pregnancy, our first daughter, brought constant nausea. About three months in, I went to the fridge for a snack. Simon had made a Costco run and stocked up on all sorts of staples and treats. As the door swung open, all I could smell were bell peppers. He had bought a large bag for snacking. Prior to being knocked up, this wouldn’t have been an issue. But on that fateful day, the stench was overwhelming. I declared out loud, “Who the heck buys 50 pounds of bell pepper?!” Then I threw up in my mouth, then in the toilet, then I looked at him and threw up again. I am pretty sure I used curse words, including the one that rhymes with duck, as I lectured him on what is considerate to keep in the home to please and not please one’s olfactory senses. Yet he still stuck around. What a guy.

My OB begged me to have a c-section after the complications I had from our son. I resisted until just a few days before my due date. They ordered an ultrasound and our girl was going to be just as big. Not wanting to deliver another toddler via my traumatized lady parts, we agreed that would be the best scenario. Our daughter was born healthy and the same weight as our son, 10 lbs., 2 oz. I had gained half the weight that pregnancy yet we still had a ginormous kid. Must be the genes,

The third pregnancy was a blur, but I was definitely hormonal growing our second daughter and keeping a two and four year old alive while Simon worked insanely long hours on the train. He had just returned home from an eight day trip. It was his birthday. The phone rang and he got called out to leave for another eight day trip the next day. I begged him to call in sick. Being the ethical guy he is, he said no way. I ranted, “But your crazy pregnant wife is sick! Sick of you impregnating me and leaving for days on end!” I know. I’m a horrible person. He is trying to make an honest living and has Captain Wacky Von Estrogenpants is trying to get him fired. I still occasionally apologize for being a jackhole during those combined 27 months.

Our third kid was born via planned c-section since we had a pattern of creating monster babies. We were pros by that point so the docs practically let Simon deliver our second daughter. He cut the cord as they arranged my innards neatly on the sterile table. He and the docs were casually chatting about hunting as we heard the first cries. “How big?” I yelled. Simon replied, “She looks tiny.” Hmmm, must only be an eight pounder, I thought. I heard the medical staff call out “5.5” which I figured was in stones or some other European weight scale. They clarified, “FIVE POUNDS and FIVE OUNCES.” I blurted out, “Is she a midget?” Then I felt like I was disrespecting the integrity of little people worldwide so I continued, “But that’s okay if she’s a midget, I would love her just the same.” My doctor stopped everything and looked me in my loopy, drugged eyes, “Kristy, she is perfect. Just tiny. Sometimes this happens. She will be fine.” And she is perfect. Our observant, curious firecracker.


Simon did get a vasectomy shortly thereafter. Fair enough.  He is a great dad and we have many. many pictures and memories of these early years.


  1. Erin Rodriguez on July 28, 2014 at 8:39 am

    I remember visiting you after you had Maggie! I swear you two were such pros! As if you did not have major surgery! And as if another child was no biggie! Such natural amazing wonderful parents!

    • Erica Gunderson on July 28, 2014 at 2:10 pm

      I saw her the day after and she was sitting criss cross applesauce on the bed wearing regular Jammie’s and moving around like nothing! I’ve had two c sections and no way I could do that!

  2. Linda Manley on July 28, 2014 at 8:58 am

    Beautiful, precious memories…

  3. Crystal on July 28, 2014 at 11:16 am

    Bulgaria was the best!

  4. Lisa Peck on July 28, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    It’s kind of funny how Vi keeps you just on the edge of nausea even now. Love that kid!

  5. Erica Gunderson on July 28, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    Oh the pictures. So sweet.

  6. Michelle Stevens on July 28, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    I love Simon as a daddy! He’s amazing. I love his as a husband to you, he’s amazing. And I love you-I love you for knowing him and living him for as long as you are given. Your marriage is a ray of hope to me, and as I read your fears I pray that my life and my kids is hope to you. We are a lot alike my friend. Though I pray daily that Jesus will allow Simon to live longer and raise his sweet children alongside you, I know your strength And I believe that if Jesus should say no to that prayer He will hold you up and you as a great mommy will still be a great mommy. I will walk the road with you. Hugs and kisses to you and all the babies. Memphis is prayin for you, I’ve cried a lot today! Love you Simon!

  7. Jane Kelley on July 28, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    Kristy. You are a strong woman. You have amazing transparent writing skills that connect with your readers and friends. Keep posting. We all want to know how Simon and your family are doing Keep pushing forward. Thanks for being a blessing!

    • Bonnie Duenas on July 28, 2014 at 5:42 pm

      What a beautiful family story- You will get thru this- Simon was so nice to everyone at ChoicePoint.

  8. Lori Rutherford on July 28, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    Loved witnessing number 3’s pregnancy. Love you.

  9. Debbie White on July 29, 2014 at 4:11 am

    So much love in these stories. So much love in your hearts

  10. Martha Welch on July 29, 2014 at 6:26 am

    Praying everyday for Simon and all of your family!

  11. Brandy Law Scoggins on July 29, 2014 at 7:31 am

    This is the sweetest and most hysterical post yet…I literally have tears in my eyes from the outbursts of gut laughs. I snorted even, at Captin Wacky Von Estrogenpants and couple of other things. THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF…keeping it so real.

    Sending so much love.

  12. Kelly Caver on July 29, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    I love these pictures of Simon welcoming his three children into our world 🙂 They are so lucky to have wonderful parents.

  13. Meghan (Crews) O'Brien on July 30, 2014 at 6:07 am

    Kristy and Simon – I’m not great with words but I want you to know I have been praying for you and your family. I love and miss you both greatly!

    I was just thinking about the last time our boys were together at Easter in TX. They were hiding behind the table, peeping over, sticking their fingers into the cinnamon rolls which everyone were about to eat that Easter morning. I totally busted them and have a picture to prove it!




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