The Wedding

September 14, 2015
11 Comments

Jason and I were married on September 5th. All the emotions were present that day. I spent the first morning hour doing what I did the first few months after Simon passed. I sat on my front porch steps with a hot cup of coffee watching the sun rise. I let the tears flow. I miss Simon. I always will. We created a home and family. I can never get back or recreate that life, only cling to memories. But in the same breath, I am so overwhelmed by God’s mercy, a second gift of love, and the community that has surrounded our family. In this crazy year of loss, decisions, and change, marrying Jason was an easy choice. We know we have our work cut out for us, but we know we are supposed to do life together.

Family and friends gathered at my parents’ house for an evening of celebration, remembrance, tacos, craft beer, and impromptu dancing. The temperamental California summer weather, which had been swaying between rainy, humid, and scorching, was nearly perfect for the 24 hours surrounding the ceremony. We eschewed most wedding traditions. There was no bridal party beyond our kids. My son stood beside Jason and was, in his words, the “best right hand man”. My daughters were the “girls of honor”, proudly carrying mini bouquets down the grassy aisle. Cupcakes and ice pops were plentiful in lieu of cake. There were no slideshows, no toasts, no photobooths. We wanted to spend our time and energy enjoying the company of who we love most. And those who attended will tell you it was one of the best weddings ever. Even though it was a beautiful setting, the people made it a beautiful night to remember.

The ceremony was intentionally short and meaningful. We didn’t want out guests to tune out over trite commentary and cliche wedding wishes. None of that was an issue because we had the perfect officiant: Shawn Small. Shawn spent his post-college years as a youth pastor and has known Jason since he was 12. Shawn began the non-profit travel organization that Simon interned for and Jason still works with. Shawn conducted premarital counseling for Simon and I. Shawn was the man that Simon told his deepest hurts and wildest dreams to. Shawn and Jason have traveled all over the world together, forging a brotherlike bond. Now Shawn is our biggest supporter because he has personally watched this story unfold and witnessed God’s provision weave through the decisions and events that brought us to where we are today. As a storyteller, Shawn captured the audience as he painted the picture of Jason and I building the foundation of our friendship that ultimately became love at the right time. And with our blessing, Shawn delicately and appropriately honored Simon during the ceremony, acknowledging the role Simon will hold as Jason and I honor his legacy while building our new life together. We recited private vows with the kids to reaffirm their importance and value in our new family.

Jason and I escaped to a nearby beach resort for our first honeymoon (our second, dream honeymoon is happening later this fall). That getaway made me realize that I haven’t really relaxed in about nine years! It took almost two days for me to accept that I shouldn’t be checking emails, planning my calendar, worrying about the kids, or doing anything else except being Jason’s wife and enjoying our surroundings. Our travel agent worked with the hotel to make sure all sorts of treats and perks came our way to make it memorable. The only glitch was that everything was booked under my name, so Jason was addressed with my last name by all the hotel waitstaff and attendants during the week. He was a great sport and was confidently introducing him with the incorrect name by the end of the stay. At least he got a little taste of what most of us married gals have to go through when we change our names!

To my blog readers, I want to thank you. Thank you for reading and hearing this story. In one sense, my time as a widow is over. In another sense, life is just beginning. We are rebuilding our family. Jason had to become a husband and father at the same time, a challenge that requires so much patience, resilience, and humility. Relationships are already complex, and for us, it’s on another level of complicated! But we have faith that God will guide our steps, we have Simon’s blessing, we have love to diffuse the dark times, and we have supportive families that stand with us no matter what.

11 Comments

  1. Jan on September 14, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    It was the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been to, and the story of Jason and Kristy and family is AMAZING!! God is so, so good!!!!! Prayers always for you! And I’m here when you need me for anything!!!



    • Salinda on September 14, 2015 at 8:52 pm

      I couldn’t agree more Jan. It was the most heartfelt wedding I have ever been too. Amazing and everyone looked fabulous. ♡



  2. Judy on September 14, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    It was a beautiful, perfect wedding ever! I will always keep you and Jason in my prayers daily! Like you said, it won’t be easy but God will direct both your steps through this marriage and I send you both my love and blessings forever!



  3. Pat Collins on September 14, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    God is so good. This marriage seems so right. I am so happy for you as a family.



  4. Pat Collins on September 14, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    God is so good. This marriage seems so right. Your whole family is blessed.



  5. JT on September 14, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    This story of love, is proof that God’s love knows no boundaries, the depth and complexity of it all is beautiful to see.

    Keep on loving, never stop,



  6. Alan schechter on September 14, 2015 at 6:11 pm

    God is really awesome!!! Marcella and I want to congratulate you and Jason on your wedding!!!! I know Simon is looking down on this with a smile and an Awesome!!!! The start of the next chapter in your life is one of love compassion and continuation.
    Love to both of you!!!
    Alan&Marcella Schechter



  7. Judy Colwell on September 14, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    So grateful that God brought you a gift of another chance at love….Your day was a blessing to all who were privileged to participate. I was in awe of it, as a widow of 8 years, as to what God will do for an adventuresome, younger couple…You traversed into an arena that few would dare ..myself included. You know you have my promise of prayer to cover each area of your married life. Your kiddos are also considered and prayed for, as well. May God continue to keep you pliable and flexible as you grow stronger in this union….May your years together be blessed and span far into the future…My advice..if I may…always keep it sweet because kindness matters…(I know you already know this)..
    Love you and will be encouraged to observe the growing of your love for one another as time goes by.



  8. Gretchen Jensen on September 14, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    It really was one of the sweetest weddings I have been to. What a blessing to share that day with you! I loved you and Simon as a couple and now I love you and Jason! God is good. His love endures forever.
    So excited to see you and Jason grow as a couple and as a family.



  9. Neighbor on September 14, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    Congratulations Neighbor! May God continue to lavish you and Jason with His grace.
    Much Love



  10. Ariana on September 15, 2015 at 1:20 am

    So happy for all of you! Congratulations, Kristy.



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