The Phone
I finally disconnected Simon’s phone. It was emotional but the money can be better used for our children’s future and, with the exception of one doctor’s office that didn’t know he was gone, no one has called or texted in months. Still, that phone was what kept us connected for the days and weeks he would be away for work. Getting that call that he made it to his destination safely or a quick text to say hi meant everything. It was a basic flip phone. No smart phone for Simon. Too much monthly cost, too much opportunity for distraction. He always said if he needed information, everyone else had smart phones – it could give him a chance to connect with a stranger if he needed directions or recommendations for a nearby place to eat.
Before terminating the service, I reread text messages. It was mostly messages from family and friends saying goodbye. The last texts were from us, me saying I loved him, him saying he loved me. That was just two days before he died.
Last, I saved the pictures. There were only two types. Pictures of scenery from his train travels and pictures of our family, mostly the kids. We never had to wonder if he loved us.
Another step on the uneven road of serve loss..Painful, I know, but necessary….
We just had flip phones too. I disconnected Den’s about two months after he died. My phone has about 19 messages from Den I love to listen to when they circulate for removal &/or save. They go way back to times in the hospital at City of Hope and many others. I wish there were some way for me to have those messages to keep other than on the flip phone that will one day wear out but I have no idea how that could be done. Some are just so sweet, not to mention just hearing his voice.
I just got a new phone last week. Since I changed services, I lost my saved voice mail messages. I had 3 voice messages from Patrick Findlay, and numerous texts. I tried to save the texts, but didn’t get them all. I would reread them when I was missing him especially. I find that I can remember his voice even without the messages, but it still makes me sad to lose them.