Some days are easier than others – the busyness of life or fun activities distract from the fact that my husband and children’s father died less than two months ago. And then comes trash day.  I have not taken out the trash for almost 10 years.  We shared certain tasks around the house and divided…

It was spring 2003. College graduation was approaching.  I was getting the itch to do something crazy. Moving back to Texas was definitely on my mind but I wanted to work through the summer and build up my savings.  My parents knew I loved to travel and offered to buy me a plane ticket somewhere…

Simon and I did not have a perfect marriage.  It was pretty spectacular, but not perfect.  We discussed that one of our mutual weaknesses was not fighting fairly or efficiently.  We would bicker late at night when someone was often tired or hungry, and logic was irrational.  We wanted to go to counseling but were…

Because Simon traveled often for work and because of his borderline introvert tendencies, we stayed home often when he was here.  When he would return from a few day or weeks away, he wanted to be home.   We would have family movie nights, read books together, play basketball in the backyard, or just sit…

(This is the second post in a short series of crazy things I’m fessing up to that did in my younger days so my kids don’t think I’m the most boring mom on the planet.) Back in May 2001, my older brother drove me back to California from Texas after a semester exchange. (That exchange…

Today I returned to work after nearly three months off.  I was a ball of nerves. I work at the same hospital where Simon died.  Would my emotions be out of control?  Would I remember all the details of my job, from the paperwork, to the patient care, to assisting our doctors? Would I miss…

I am definitely in a more fragile state than I was a month ago. Simon’s absence is becoming more evident as the kids and I learn to navigate the new normal.  We had a pretty consistent routine. Then he died.  And we’re grieving. And we’re trying to figure out what is going to work best…

As a newly widowed mom,  I imagine I’ll be inclined to take less risks and therefore translate as a boring mom to my kids in the next few months or years. Guess what, kids?  Your mom used to be a little crazy, still has some whimsy, and just may be super fun again someday. In the…

It has been a month and a day since Simon died.  Sometimes it seems like it was a lifetime ago, sometimes it still seems like he should be walking through the front door any minute, as though he was just gone on a long trip. The kids and I are coping and getting back into…

Simon had been planning a campout with our son for his birthday for months.  They would have a few friends join in for a night of s’mores, games, and sleeping in a tent in my folk’s large backyard. We all put those plans to rest when Simon got sick. I tolerate the outdoors and was…

Everyone grieves differently.  Some people get angry. Some get depressed. Some go totally bonkers.  For me, hands down, it’s loneliness. Yes, I feel God’s presence and loving arms supporting me daily.  That’s what has kept me sane and gotten me out of bed every day. Yes, I have amazing friends who call, text, email, and…

Our son turns eight today.  It his third day of third grade and his first birthday without his dad. He has been very cognizant of the situation and talks about the loss with an extreme level of maturity and emotional stability.  I know that could change at any moment but am so grateful thus far.…

Simon and I were opposites in many ways. I’ve read studies that show you often marry your opposite when you’re young and you marry someone more like-minded when you’re older.  Pretty accurate in our case. In fact, we spent all day at a seminar a few years back that was designed to help us understand our…

The kids went back to school today.  Getting  into a normal routine will be good for all of us.  There was mercy in the timing of Simon’s illness: because there was no work or school the last three months, we got to spend maximum quality time together. Plus, all my plans to keep the kids…

You probably won’t be surprised when I tell you that I was a Communications major in college.  I originally started as a Special Education major because I have a heart for anyone that doesn’t quite fit the mold of what society deems as “normal”, but the clinical hours required were overwhelming. So I picked the next…

Simon would have turned 35 today. He died 18 days ago. It seems longer. Maybe because he was already dying when he got diagnosed and we just didn’t know it yet. This whole summer seemed to move in slow motion as we lived it but now that it’s over, it went so, so fast. Unbelievably…

Simon’s Celebration of Life (sounds way better than funeral) was yesterday. It had a different vibe than the Texas services. Not better or worse, just different. The way folks dressed was brighter and more casual. There were less formalities. There were more tear filled eyes from friends and coworkers who were used to seeing him…

As we prepare for Simon’s Celebration of Life this weekend in California, I wanted to share one of the Eulogies from the Texas services. This Eulogy was shared by Simon’s long time friend, Patrick. They went through Boy Scouts together and then went on to complete their ordeals through Order of the Arrow, which is…

Since there is no rule book on how to resume life after you lose your spouse/children’s father, we’re making it up as we go. And let’s be honest, if there was a rule book, I wouldn’t have followed it anyway.  It reminds me of all the baby books we read with our first – sleep…

We spent the past five days in Texas. There is so much to be said about Simon’s service, the support of his hometown, and about the healing process. I’ll recap the trip chronologically because that seems the least daunting right now. The flight out on Thursday was mediocre.  Flying with little kids isn’t fun unless…

Nearly 20 of us Californians begin heading to Texas tomorrow by various means of transportation.  Simon had specifically requested certain friends to be present for his Texas services and to be pallbearers.  We didn’t think every person would be able to make it due to schedules and finances but it is happening. Calls were made.…

Hello, blog readers. “Tenant” here. You may remember me from this post. This may be a little long, so bear with me. First, thank you for prayers, love, and support toward Simon’s family. From your simple, “Lord, be with Kristy,” to your intense, tearful intercession- Jesus hears it all and continues to give enough grace…

Not gonna lie, we were a busy family.  That’s mostly my doing as a textbook extrovert.  We had been married almost ten years and had jobs, church, life group, Bible study groups, School Board, Boy Scouts, dance lessons, swim lessons, piano lessons, birthday parties, and many other activities.  I kept an organized master calender and…

Hi Simon. I bought my dress for your funeral. I’ve lost 25 lbs in the last six weeks and nothing is fitting quite right these days. By the way, “buying a dress for husband’s funeral” was right up there on my list of things I hoped I would never have to do. That list also…

There will be two services for Simon. Simon will be buried in his beloved hometown. Service and graveside will be Saturday, August 9th at 10am Atlanta First Baptist Church 306 Baker St Atlanta, TX 75551 www.atlantafbc.org   There will be a Celebration of Life in Whittier, CA  on Sunday, August  17th at 3pm. Plymouth Church 12058…

Simon passed peacefully this morning surrounded by family.  He was ready.  He had told us all he loved us, acknowledged final prayers, and clasped his hands together.  We are filled with sorrow and peace. Services in Texas are being planned for next weekend.  Services in California will be the following weekend.  Details to follow. Thank…

When I kiss you goodnight and tell you I love you, I’m not sure if it will be the last time.  You’re so weak and tired. You are getting more meds to control your pain and discomfort. You told me to go home and be with our family and kids.  Always concerned about everyone else.…

We don’t know what today holds so here is a fun story to give some smiles underneath the tears. I grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles – I’m a city girl who is used to lots of people, buildings, concrete, and busyness. Although I spent a semester of college in North Texas, it…

Simon is comfortable and quite alert in his hospital room.  He is still only accepting family to visit but has enjoyed hearing your many messages read to him.  He has smiled and laughed.  I have not seen him shed a single tear.  It may be a physical impossibility or it may be that he truly has…

Simon is reaching the end of his journey. The miracles came in many forms, just not healing. Yesterday, he was assigned a nurse that had never worked on that floor before. She had lost her husband from the same cancer a year ago and was a source of comfort. His Hospitalist and Oncologist had both…