Dear Simon

August 1, 2014

When I kiss you goodnight and tell you I love you, I’m not sure if it will be the last time.  You’re so weak and tired. You are getting more meds to control your pain and discomfort. You told me to go home and be with our family and kids.  Always concerned about everyone else.  I really believe that if God had asked you to give up your life so that someone else could live, you would have said yes without hesitation.

You were nerdy, skinny, and a smart-ass from the minute I met you. It was a combination impossible for my 22 year old heart to resist.  I had to exercise a ridiculous amount of self control and fake coolness to not totally smother you; I wanted you to like me as much as I liked you. My plan worked.  Well, God’s plan.  It just happened to be the same plan which is my favorite kind.  What’s happening right now wasn’t in my plans but how can I be upset when God gave me what I wanted, just not for as long as I wanted?

Our love was risky. We were each loyal to our states – you to Texas, me to California. We compromised and have lived in both places over the years.  I knew you had health complications from birth.  I never pictured us growing old together but took a chance on love.  Even my mother, the unriskiest person on the planet, told me to go for it.  So we went in. All in. We married within a year. Our marriage wasn’t perfect but we never talked once about calling it quits.  It was and is until death do us part.

Around our seventh anniversary, we had a big talk about what we had in common.  We practically heard crickets chirping in the silence. Yes, we agreed on all the really critical stuff – religion, social justice, general politics.  But the little things?  Not much.  We agreed that we both like documentaries and trying new foods. That was about it.  You love craft beers. I tried so hard to get on board but it all looks and taste like crap to me – sorry. I love shopping.  You would wear clothes until they were embarrassingly tattered to avoid having to buy new stuff. I love sweets. You love salty. You listen to Tom Waits, Johnny Cash, and Charles Mingus. I listen to ABBA and pop music. You prefer to be home, I prefer to be out and about. You were a Boy Scout extraordinaire.  I was a Girl Scout dropout. But it worked.

Someone recently described our love as fun – like  two kids pretending to be grown ups. That seems about right.  We were just starting to work on our family mission statement.  The first line was “We value people over things.”  So we had more in common than we gave ourselves credit for.  Thank you for 10 crazy years. I would do it all again.

2014-07-31 11.44.11 HDR


  1. Kim (Yarbrough) Ruger on August 1, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    Every morning, the first thing I do when I get on line is come to your blog. Every morning I want to close my eyes and not look at what you’ve written, afraid of what I’ll read. Every morning after reading I have tears in my eyes — in awe of God’s work in you and in awe of the love you share with Simon. It’s the kind of love few people have. (I’m blessed to have it as well so I know how special it is.) Prayers, prayers, prayers, and more prayers go up for you and your family daily.

    • Tara Collins on August 2, 2014 at 5:28 am

      Amen, Kim!

  2. Susan Gaines on August 1, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    Now the tears well. I am so grateful for this union, no matter how brief. Loving you both. Thank you for sharing this journey. I hope it will benefit many in the large & small things of living life.

  3. Grace on August 1, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    Simply Beautiful

  4. Liliana on August 1, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    It overwhlems me how you have kept yourself together but not surprised because GOD has been in control of this since Day 1 . You are such a remarkable and strong woman Kristy. You are going through something that breaks my heart and hurts to the core. May GOD bless you & your children with so many beautiful amazing years to come. I know that GOD chose you to be Simons wife for a purpose. You have such shown love and loyalty to him. I have no words. I just dont.
    <3 God Bless the Caver Family.

  5. Daniel Sundin on August 1, 2014 at 1:53 pm

    I’m quoting a Marc Driscoll sermon I listened to recently here. Something I’ve been thinking a lot about through all this.

    “The most important day of your life and your marriage is, of course, the last day. And when it comes to marriage, so many couples are encouraged to invest so much time, energy, and money to get the perfect wedding. From the florist, to the caterer, to the photographer, to the attendants, to the attire, it is all about having a great first day. And it’s important and it’s a great gift to have a great first day, but the last day is the most important day.

    There are lots of magazines on how to have a great first day, not on how to have a great last day. So many people have detailed plans for the first day, but they really don’t know what the plan is for the last day. What will the last day of your life look like? What will the last day of your marriage look like?

    • Marissa Greenberg on August 1, 2014 at 3:19 pm

      Daniel, this was very meaningful, thank you for sharing it.

  6. Erin Rodriguez on August 1, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    So beautiful! Although a painful time I chuckled through this entire blog! You could not have said it better my dear friend! My heart is with you all. Especially you our dear Simon! Love you all!

  7. Jan on August 1, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    Yep, simply beautiful! Don’t know that there is anything else to say…

  8. Crystal on August 1, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    Your story is beautiful!

  9. Pam on August 1, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    So beautiful that I really do not know what else to say.

  10. Becca Rogers on August 1, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    Beautiful story, beautifully written! Praying for you. Love you!

  11. Lynn on August 1, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    Such a pure testimony of how we were made to love… prayers and tears are overflowing for you two .

  12. Josh on August 1, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    I look forward to reading this testimony daily, while also dreading the words I might find before me. The words of faith and good memories shared of Simon always touch me and bring a bit of moisture to my eyes, yet the gut wrenching pain of the inevitable always bring about the heavy tears. I laugh when you describe Simon exactly as I remember him so many years ago… Skinny, a touch of smart-ass, and the only hockey fan I knew growing up (Bruins maybe?). I cry when I see pictures of him with y’all’s kids or of you two together. But always when I reflect on the faith you both have, it eases me knowing his final destination and knowing that you and the kids will get through this… however hard it may be. Simon… I love ya, man. Know that my prayers continue flowing to the Heavens for you and your family, and will continue to do so even after you’ve moved on to the Good Life. G

    • Josh on August 1, 2014 at 3:29 pm

      God Bless you all…

  13. PJ on August 1, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    Praying for you guys…


  14. Maegan Harris on August 1, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    Throughout my years battling a long term crappy diagnosis, I have heard the best and worst of all sayings. “God won’t give you more than you can handle, perhaps is the worst.” Allow me to say that this is going to be more than you can handle. No, not in the long run. No, not in the “going through the motions,” but at that point where you feel lost and lonely and just want to cry. Know we’re all there with you and have been there with you all along. I log into FB solely to read your posts and pray and I get the hyperventilate cry. God has placed your family so close to my heart Kristy. And, Simon, we’re lifting you up Brother. We look forward to meeting you in Heaven. You scored an Awesome Family and I am honored to know you through them. Kristy—anything… 2am. 4am 6pm. I gotcha back!

  15. Beverly Pennington on August 1, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    What a beautiful story of human love and the love of and for God!

  16. Julie Darnell on August 1, 2014 at 4:17 pm

    This is therapeutic Kristy. love the honesty, tenderness and the hope. Asaph wrote “when my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart and ignorant, I was like a beast before You. Nevertheless, I am continually with You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” psalm 73: 21-26 . With sympathy, love and prayers.

  17. Marisa Almada Oste on August 1, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    Oh man, Kristy… 🙁 Whatever you need, let us know.

  18. Brenda Blizzard on August 1, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    As I read your letter each day, I can’t help but be in awe of the strength & courage that both of y’all have. I will continue to pray for y’all each day. If I am ever faced with something like this I hope & pray that I will have the strength & courage that y’all have been blessed with. God bless you both!! Hugs❤️❤️

  19. Kristin Romo on August 1, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    You had me at “Dear Simon”., The picture is sweet, and says sooooo much . You two were and are made for each other. You are right, just not for long enough. Long enough though to make 3 little people that will continue to make us laugh, and think of Simon often. Thanks for letting us in on your life(past and present) with Simon. Love to you all. The Romo clan.

  20. Michelle Hebert on August 1, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    Speechless. This is just so beautiful and I am so happy you are still able to share these beautiful words, thoughts and love with him. Love you guys!

  21. juan talavera on August 1, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    Kristy you know me, I’m not very good at saying anything when it comes to this, cause i don’t want to say the wrong thing. I just wanted to say thanks you, to you and Simon for having us in your home, and being very kind and giving to us especially the wonderful food you guys would make for us. Simon, thanks for taking the time to teach me how to make salsa, but there is one problem i forgot and you have to get better and teach me again. I’m not kidding when i say this, we think about you guys allot, were here if you need us ok. I’m happy my son is friends with your son cause we got to meet to really cool parents.

  22. Kelly Alvord Galea on August 2, 2014 at 1:04 am

    Sitting in the Rome airport reading this with tears streaming down my face…. Beautifully said …

  23. Holly Lemus on August 2, 2014 at 6:37 am

    Kristy that was so beautiful.. I have no other words…

  24. Sandra on August 2, 2014 at 8:18 am

    I do not know you or Simon but I know of you through Amy Gossett. You are truly blessed to have God bring you two together and to live a life of marriage with sacrifice but most importantly unconditional love. That is a perfect gift and one that is more precious than life itself. I can only imagine it reaches the deepest depth of your soul. You are on a powerful journey that can reach and help millions of reach of people. Thank you for sharing your story with the world. May God continue to bless you and give you peace.

  25. Alisa Grace on August 2, 2014 at 10:28 am

    What a beautiful, realistic love story, Kristy. Hugs to you all and prayers without ceasing. <3

  26. Jenny (Perkins) Adkins on August 2, 2014 at 10:43 am

    I’ll never forget a sermon Simon preached at FBC Atlanta years ago… It was about serving God and what that looks like in the life of a Christian. He pulled out a white towel and draped it over his arm, demonstrating that service isn’t always glamerous; it is rarely what we might fantasize it’s like. Most of the time, serving God looks like doing the dishes, going to work and doing your best, changing diapers, taking your kids to church, taking cookies to a new neighbor, or holding the hand of your suffering spouse. May the peace of Christ keep you. – The Adkins (Steve, Jenny, Simon, Anna, and Claire)

  27. Michelle Stevens on August 2, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    My pop music loving friend…I’m listen to Justin timberlake’s “blue ocean floor” remembering and thankful for your and Simon’s epic love story!

  28. Toby de la Torre on August 3, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    I am beyond blessed and forever grateful to have shared a Sunday lunch with you and Simon a few years back at Golden triangle. You guys did not even let me pay. I remember thinking that day that I just had lunch w the coolest couple from my church. =)
    It’s people like you and Simon that are the hands and feet of God. What an example you both were to a single guy! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.




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