Simon was very clear in expressing that he did not want me to stop living when he died. He did not want life to be stalled in a state of sorrow. And, as much as possible, we have tried to balance grief and find joy. We still attend weekly therapy, individually and as a family. There has been amazing progress in how we express and embrace feelings. I attend a monthly widow’s group, a safe haven for fellow women who have lost husbands. It is a place to honor the men we loved and learn how to cope, even thrive, under the weight of loss. The kids and I talk about Simon every day. We miss him. We always will. His legacy impacts how we live our lives. Yet, even in our mourning, we still go on vacation. We still have our local theme park passes. We have impromptu living room dance parties. We fellowship with our spiritual family at church. We genuinely smile and laugh, sometimes with tears rolling down our cheeks. By God’s grace, we are waking up each day with hope for the future.
In late November, a longtime friend of Simon’s visited. They had worked together for a short term missions organization that leads groups all over the world. That period of time left a huge impression on Simon’s life. This friend and I reconnected in a meaningful, deep, platonic way. We have spent countless hours talking and spending intentional time together and with the kids during the last two months. The prayers of so many have been for discernment. We felt those prayers. With careful prayer individually and consideration for everyone involved, we have made the mindful decision to start a relationship
Those that have met him are excited and supportive. We understand though the mixed emotions that come with the news. There is no timeline for the feelings of loss just as there is no timeline for love.
Your prayers are coveted as this widow’s journey continues.