Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary. I KNOW.  I was so proud when we made it past the six month mark of dating, which was a personal record.  Then each year passed and our marriage became more complex, stronger, and better.   A dear friend is getting me, my mom, and the kids into Disneyland today to get my mind off things.  Simon didn’t care for Disneyland so there won’t be much to trigger the sadness throughout the day.

We always took a trip for our anniversary and bought a coffee mug there.  Going out of town for our anniversary was something we committed to on our honeymoon, especially since October is a great month for off-season deals and nice weather. Simon had to work the last four out of five anniversaries, so we celebrated and traveled a week or two before or after.  On the actual date, my mom would come over and watch movies with me so I didn’t complain too much about being alone on my anniversary!

Here’s a recap of our nine anniversary trips:

Anniversary #1 in 2005: We went to Lake Arrowhead, a mountain resort town just 1 1/2 hours from Los Angeles.  We stayed at a hotel on the lake, shopped, and ate out.  We were honestly still getting to know each other and spent most of the trip talking and discussing our future. On that trip, we decided we would start trying for kids because we figured it would take a while to conceive. I got pregnant with our son one month later.

Anniversary #2 in 2006: We went to San Diego.  Our son was only two months old and we didn’t want to travel far since he was a nursing machine. We took him to the zoo, which was really an excuse for us to go to the zoo because he could have cared less.

Anniversary #3 in 2007:  We went to Long Beach, CA.  It was our first time away from our son. I found an amazing deal on a hotel overlooking the harbor near downtown.  We went to the aquarium, watched movies, and, of course, ate wonderful meals out.

Anniversary #4 in 2008: We went to Newport Beach, CA. I was pregnant with our daughter and felt pretty crappy.  I mostly floated around in the hotel pool and sent Simon out to fetch me cheesecake for dinner one evening so I wouldn’t have to leave the room.  God bless that man for putting up with me. We did venture out for fresh seafood one evening. This was the first time we had a serious discussion about what we wanted for the other spouse if one of us were to die. I remember it very clearly.  We also discussed ways we could be a better spouse to each other.

Anniversary #5 in 2009: We went to Austin, TX. Simon’s grandfather was participating in a LiveStrong bike race. We spent lots of time with family and showed our son and baby daughter around one of our favorite cities.  We had decided that if we ever moved back to Texas it would be to Austin.

Anniversary #6 in 2010: We went to Pasadena, CA.  Simon had been laid off and we were really tight on money. I found a great deal on a nice hotel. We went to the movies, ice skated, and debated new career possibilities.  Just two months later, he would be offered his job at Amtrak.

Anniversary #7 in 2011: We went to Temecula, CA for wine tasting and checked out some local breweries. I was seven months pregnant with our third child and yes, I had wine and beer. Just a little. Mostly for the shock value and to enjoy the stares from bystanders. We snuck in a quick visit to San Diego to meet our new nephew.  We both like newborns, especially the kind you can give back when they cry or poo.

Anniversary #8 in 2012: We went to Denver, CO. We have lots of friends there and had never been to Colorado. Our youngest daughter was still nursing, so we let her tag along. We ate our way through the city as usual, stayed at a super fancy boutique hotel,  and enjoyed touring the Celestial Seasonings tea factory in Boulder. We were big fans of tea.

Anniversary #9 in 2013: We went back to Denver.  We loved it the first time and wanted our kids to come along this time.  We were attending a wedding, so we rented a large house and brought my folks along, too.  It was a wonderful trip. The best anniversary, actually. We went to a pumpkin patch, squeezed in lots of alone time, and had a blast at our friends’ wedding.

Anniversary #10, today: We were going to do something simple since we bought a house last year and finances were tight. We had started plans to go to the South Pacific (Tahiti, Fiji, Bora Bora etc.) for our 11th anniversary.  I have always wanted to stay in a (well constructed) hut along a pier with clear ocean beneath me.  It’s not going to happen now but I am really, really grateful for the anniversaries we did get.  Being married to Simon made me a better person. We always joked about having to buy a bigger house if we got up to 40 or 50 mugs.

Better to have nine mugs than none at all.